If you think about it, there is no specific right age for a sleepover for your child. Nevertheless, it’s a significant milestone for all kids and an integral part of their socialization as they grow. Fran Walfish, Psy. D., notes that if your child enjoys sleepovers, they are likely becoming more accustomed to being apart from you. How do you determine when your child is ready?
Offer to Host the First Sleepover
Before you let your kid stay at a friend’s house, test the waters by inviting their friend to your home. Dr. Walfish advises parents to observe whether their child grows tired of being with a friend or starts to squabble with them after a couple of hours. It’s a sign that they may need more social skills practice before staying overnight with another family. If both children are new to this sleepover experience, try a sleep-under. It’s where dinner and typical sleepover activities are planned, but the other child returns home in pajamas before bedtime.
The Phone Call Home
Your child might want to return home from their first sleepover, even after all the planning. If your child wants to come home for an unfixable reason – the hosts’ dogs are barking or your child simply misses you – it’s best to pick them up rather than try to convince them to stay. Dr. Walfish says that doing so establishes the trust that you will come get them if your kid needs you. The following day, you can discuss what could be done to improve the whole sleepover situation in the future. However, overanalyzing will only cause your kid to feel like a failure.
Help Them Get Along
If you are hosting a sleepover and there are many kids, decide who will sleep next to your child. A mom shared on social media that she came up with the Cup of Destiny for future sleepovers after she naively let a group of girls choose where to sleep at her seven-year-old daughter’s party, resulting in a dramatic escalation. The game is as follows: children write their names on a slip of paper, and the parent places them in a gold plastic cup and write names to determine the sequence of games, where they sit at the table, and where they sleep.
The Bottom Line
Do not feel like a dull parent for declining a request for a sleepover. A mother shared on social media that they are simply not comfortable with their children staying at their friends’ homes. Rather than singling out a specific friend, you should make it clear that this is a family rule. Even if you are receptive to sleepovers in the future, it’s prudent to skip the first one if you believe your child is not yet prepared. Children should have a positive first experience rather than risk an embarrassing or distressing incident that could turn them off to sleepovers completely.